Recentemente alguns amigos me pediram recomendações no LinkedIn e após escrever alguns parágrafos e enviá-las me perguntei: será que alguém faz recomendações honestas quando não aprova a conduta profissional do recomendado?

Fiz uma rápida busca no Google e encontrei alguns casos hilários em que as recomendações puderam ser registradas antes que seus infelizes recebedores pudesse deletá-las. Listei abaixo as melhores que encontrei (todas em inglês).

Ah! Só para deixar bem claro, as recomendações que fiz foram honestas. Ainda não tive a oportunidade de “recomendar” como nos casos abaixo. 🙂

O Clássico “sempre ocupado” em reuniões

“Greg is a rare mix of faux intelligence and stalled ambition. Just when you think he’s completely checked out during a meeting, he’ll ask a rhetorical question padded with corporate buzzwords, or look up from his phone to restate something we already know. I am particularly impressed with his ability to appear to be updating spreadsheets while watching MLB.TV. A mediocre addition to any company!

Quer um gato? Ele tem 9 vidas pra você cuidar.

“Nadine is one of the least trustworthy people I know. She always has a suspicious amount of information about our coworkers’ salaries, the details of Jessica’s divorce, and who’s sleeping with whom. In addition, her candy bowl is a feat of passive aggression. Go (away) Nadine!”

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“John and I worked together for more than four years. In that time, I was always impressed by his ability to take many more vacation and personal days than were allotted. For example, he went to Italy for three weeks this past March, took off all of the Jewish holidays even though he’s definitely not Jewish, and called in sick every other week. All in all, he’s a real wizard at staying employed.”

O gerente de projeto amado por todos

“It would be unfair to label Cory as just a project manager. On a daily basis, he’s responsible for trashing the mood of everyone around him. With an infectious can’t-do attitude and rants that I assume are related to some sort of childhood slight, Cory can tank a project just by being assigned to it. He would be an incredibly negative asset to any company.”

Microgestão

“How can I sum up Judy in just one paragraph? I can’t, because she will probably rewrite it. A brilliant micromanager and leader of team anxiety, she never met a project she didn’t want to take over. Judy has inspired thousands of eye rolls during her time here, and anybody that’s going to work with her deserves to be warned in advance.”